Thursday, April 17, 2008

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

Ok, well, maybe not as entertaining as Jack Handey, but you subtract out the bears-as-uncles and really, what do you have?

These are just my thoughts...So, though I recognize logically and reasonably that there is no one in the world that has the same thought process, ideas, and observations that I do (not to say that there aren't people similar to me, such as my boyfriend, my best friends, my mom, probably some people I've never met...) I am still continually surprised how DIS-similar from myself some people are.

I am shocked when I sit an audience of my fellow students and the host of the Dalai Lama event asks that everyone stays sitting until the academic processions finishes...and yet crowds of students continue streaming out of the doors.

I am shocked when I am at work and I hear someone yell and complain about how people in this company play the blame game...and then that person proceeds to blame something on someone else in the same breath.

I am shocked when people don't understand that when I cry it doesn't mean that I'm weak or that I'm sad, it's just an expression of my utter frustration and impotence at changing my surroundings.

I am shocked when people expect that my life is/should be devoted to my job...this does NOT mean that I don't have a work ethic, just that I think my life should be MORE than the 8-5, sitting in a cubicle, creating procedures and policies. This is also why I'm changing my profession. I want to CHANGE things. HELP the world somehow. Obviously, I am only one person, but I think I can contribute. That being said, I AM devoted to my job when I get something out of it...some positive feeling...something constructive.

I am shocked when people allow themselves to become so wrapped up in the negative that they forget to embrace the positive in their live. I mean, really, if we want to play that game, I can play it pretty well. But I don't. Instead, though I bitch about my job, when push comes to shove, I recognize that this company has given me many opportunities that I would not have otherwise had, and has richly rewarded me when I've done well. Not to mention that I have an extraordinarily (notice, Danielle, I didn't say "incredibly"!) supportive mother and grandfather, an amazing boyfriend, phenomenal friends, and so many opportunities in my life that I feel so very fortunate to have.

I am shocked when people make commitments and then don't follow through; no reasons or anything, just don't show up.

I am shocked when I meet people that don't like 80s music! Ok, not really, but I felt I needed to lighten the tone...

This list makes it seem like I'm going through life with my perpetually shock-widened eyes. While this is not quite true, I do feel like I learn something, and have to adapt to a new situation, daily. As I said, I realize logically that most people do not think like me, but emotionally I am continually surprised when they don't.

Of course, conversely, I am even more heartened when I see people let people in front of them in traffic, or when friends are overwhelmed with work and personal life but still take the time to send an email explaining why they haven't responded sooner, or when people are having a particularly rough point in their life but completely ignore the negative aspects and focus on the beauty that they find, or when people accept the blame for the mistakes they make. Not that I follow all of these precisely every time. I am no saint. Hence, the reason I am so gratified by these actions :)

Overall, I feel that I am blessed in my life, and I only wish that everyone felt like that. I have not had a textbook perfect life by any means. However, I feel that I have ended up ahead.

I could focus on the fact that I never had a father. Instead, instead I choose to focus on the fact that I had an unbelievably supportive mother and grandfather.

I could focus on the fact that other than some cousins, no one in my family has gone to college. Let alone had a job that was more than mid-level management. Instead, I went to college and I'm graduating with honors, and I reached mid-level management by my late twenties BEFORE I even got my degree.

I could focus on the fact that almost every man in my life has let me down. Instead, I focus on my grandfather who is more of a father figure to me than my father has or could ever be. I also focus on my boyfriend who treats me better than anyone else ever has, and puts up with more of my crap than I should ever ask him to.

I realize these imperfections and shortcomings in my life, and yet, I recognize the fact that my successes and benefits more than make up for, if not exceed, them. I also recognize the fact that these experiences have broadened, deepened, and expanded my life and my beliefs, and without them, I would not be the person that I am today, even with all MY imperfections and shortcomings.

Sorry, I know this is a bit of a rant and verbal diarrhea, but that's what my friends are for, listening to my rants, my complaints, my successes, and my dreams. I also believe that I fulfill this role for my friends. If I have not, then please let me know, because it is definitely something that I strive for!

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